Weekend night out in Boston... confusing the masses
So I'll make no bones about it, I unapologetically wear suits, jackets and ties pretty much every day. I would actually consider making bones about it as well, but I really am not sure I fully know what that phrase means. Now, I acknowledge that my proclivities are considered odd by most (including me) since I am a stocky large powerlifter with essentially no neck. My experiences have made me recognize however, that you are all pretty odd and most are stranger than me. I just choose to not hide it like you do.
"Develop your eccentricities while you are young. That way, when you get old, people won't think you're going gaga."
However, it IS fascinating to watch how people react in our society today when someone is dressed up. So this blog is a study in how people respond and a testament to the mass confusion my very presence can induce in otherwise normal everyday situations.
So last evening I wore the above outfit to a fairly upscale bar, though this in and of itself does not imply other people are dressed up. An obviously inebriated guy in jeans and a hoodie sweatshirt approaches with his face crinkled and eyes trying to focus as if to determine if he's drank himself to the point of hallucinating.
"What..." he drools
"Yes?" I reply while trying to maneuver out of the way of his arm probing me to make sure I really exist.
"Why are you.... so dressed up?" He almost falls over
"For dinner" I replied
"Dinner?" He said flummoxed "did you just come from work?"
"Did someone die?"
"Not that I am aware of" I replied
"So you just... put on a tie?" His face contorts in horror
"Yes, I wear them all the time. Voluntarily. I put the jacket, vest and pants on too."
"But this is Boston! We are, like, all laid back and relaxed on the weekend dude!" He does a little jig to make his point. It really didn't work since he tripped on his own ankles.
I can tell that this rule did apply to him though. He was apparently so laid back he did not even need to recall how to zip up his fly or brush his teeth and I was currently in great danger of being drooled on by his laid back facial muscles failing to keep his saliva in his mouth. I maneuvered a napkin strategically.
"Oh I'm quite relaxed and comfortable I assure you," I smiled.
His eyes start to get belligerent now. I apparently have disrupted his concept of the world to such an extent he is considering fighting me for them. Now I am not a small guy, not tall but very well, lets say, stout, I wear a 60 jacket and I bench 425lbs.
Before this happens though, one of his friends sidles up to him and grabs his arm, "Dude," he whispers by screaming loudly in the man's ear, "Look at him, he's probably in the mafia!"
At this point I wished I had a violin case I could dramatically open but I instead opt for adopting a threatening body position and a stoic face. Ok, I admit it, I also adjusted my tie.
He hesitates and then nods to me and lets his friend pull him away. "But he's wearing a tie, for NO REASON!" he tells his friend. His friend smiles at me nervously and closes his friends mouth.
We pay the tab and go to sit down at the restaurant next door.
A woman at the bar looks me up and down, leans over and asks concerned "Did someone die?"
Sigh. I really need to bring that violin case with me in the future. Its the perfect accessory for large well dressed men to have a drink in relative silence.